Un rollo repollo*

2011-06-17T17:02:00.005-04:00

Dear YOU,

Well, this just really sucks. You were the last person on earth that I thought could ever hurt me like this. After being so good to me, after all the time that you had spent showing me that I was someone important to you... you trample all over my fragile heart. I am still trying to figure out why. Damn it, I told you that night that you put yourself on the line that I didn't want to ruin our amazing friendship, that I was scared of being hurt.

You, whispering: "Do you think I'd ever hurt you"?
Me, hesitating: "I don't know..."
You, with such honesty: "I'd never hurt you."
Me (to myself): "I believe you."

And what the fuck do you do? You rearrange your priorities and cast me aside and make me feel so small and so unwanted and so unimportant. And as much as I want to hate you and forget you and never see your face ever again... I can't. All I can do is miss you. So much.

Love,
Me

2010-07-17T09:07:00.003-04:00

Okay, so here's the problem: Girl likes boy. But whether or not the boy likes the girl is yet to be determined. And the girl has just discovered that the boy's very good friend really likes the girl. But the girl really isn't interested in the boy's very good friend.

And now the girl is confused, frustrated, and wants to hide in a cave and is thinking,

"I should have never tried to be social and friendly and put myself out there for the whole wide world to see in the first place because I'm going to be leaving this god-damned lonesome place in about a year and there's no need for me to have this kind of ridiculous teenage drama in my life so I should just be content with the friends I already have and not deal with any new people or boys because boys in general are stupid and will just end up breaking my heart once I offer up mine and I don't think I can handle that right now and I am an idiot."

So, yeah.

2010-06-19T23:04:00.022-04:00

Dear YOU,

I need to let you know something. What I'm feeling now. Remember when we were texting that late drunken night and I said, "I want you, but I don't know you." That was followed by absolutely heartbreaking silence for almost two weeks and I began to expect nothing would ever happen. And I was fine with that. Then we finally sat down and had this conversation which revealed that we had stuff in common, like how we feel about this God-forsaken place. I thought that it was so easy to talk to you... about our families, about where we've traveled, about what we want to do with our lives. Then there was that other conversation we had while we were walking around town that afternoon. And the things you told me about yourself. WHY did you tell me those things? WHY did you trust me with all of your history? WHY did you confide in me so easily? You barely even know me! I mean, I am honored and flattered that you trusted me with those words I wouldn't dare tell anyone else... but WHY?!?! WHY me?!?!

In all honestly, I'm scared now. Now that I'm getting to know you. Learning these things about you and learning more about your life and your pain and your impeccable taste in music and your approach to living has started to make me feel something. Damned my big, stupid sentimental heart and how it just wants to open up with the possibility of taking you all in. So again, why are you doing this to me?!?! Maybe the better question is, why am I letting you do this to me? Not knowing the answers to these questions really sucks.

Now I know more about you. And now I like you... maybe even more than before. So now it's out there. Now YOU know.

Love,
Me

2010-06-16T22:26:00.010-04:00

I'm having another graduate school crisis. Why the hell am I here? What the heck am I doing? Is anyone ever really going to care about my research? Honestly, I'm feeling that my work is kind of worthless and insignificant... I mean, how is my work going to transform or provide insight into science, into chemistry? I don't think it will. Why is my research important? Right now, I don't think it is. And so how the hell am I going to get a PhD from the load of crap that I'm researching? It's frustrating, depressing, and makes me feel like I'm going to blow chunks any second.

So this afternoon, I sought solace in the library by hunting down copies of The Tao of Pooh and Where the Sidewalk Ends. The wisdom in these simple books has always cheered me up and helped me to regain my bearings. While walking out of the library with these two tiny hardbacks under my arm, with the intention of going home, curling up into my papasan and being appeased by my books and a glass of sweet wine, the most amazing thing happened... something that made me forget about Pooh Bear and Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Who Would Not Take the Garbage Out. The earth proved that the best things happen when you least expect them.

It started to rain. And rain hard. It was one of those great southern thunderstorms where the rain falls like marbles and the water blankets your feet as you walk through it. It was magical--feeling the rain pelt my skin and soak through my clothes, allowing my toes to swim through the pools of water littered with leaves and blossoms, lifting my head towards the sky and letting the damp drops wash away my makeup, smelling both the dirty humidity and refreshing coolness of the sky simultaneously. I stopped for awhile and just stood in that rainstorm, feeling so small yet so huge, so humbled yet so proud, so alive yet so broken, so sad yet so joyful.

I need to take walks in the rain more often.

2010-06-04T19:58:00.007-04:00

Look at all the cherries I've popped! Well, let me first beg your pardon for my vulgarity. I can't believe June is here already. What the hell happened to the month of May? Where did it go? While trying to find it, I've realized that May was quite a productive month for me, so many things accomplished, so many firsts! Let's see, I...

Swam in the Atlantic Ocean for the first time ever.

Had my first academic article published. Now I'm GoogleScholar-ified! Woot!

Performed my first ever modern dance piece during a spring ballet recital.

Hitched a ride in a limousine. I've never been in one before. Thanks Jamal!!!

Drank to the point where I could not remember a single thing (see below). I lost a good eight hours of my life and I've come to the conclusion that an excess of alcohol can rip holes into the space-time continuum.

Had my first ever luxurious and hedonistic hot stone and oil aromatherapy massage. And it actually cost more than my plane ticket to Vegas! Eeeek!

Ate my first In-and-Out burger, a double double animal style. Yum!

Had a milkshake (a peanut butter banana one from a little North Carolinian joint) that literally put me into ecstasy. I've never before had a milkshake that delicious.

Rode an orca whale, a dolphin, a shark, and a seahorse... simultaneously! Go and figure that one out!

Consumed a fried Twinkie. What was I thinking? Never again.

Hit a single, scored a run, and tagged someone out at second while playing my first ever game of softball. And, no, it wasn't a video game, I seriously played!

Revealed a secret which I've hidden for years. Let me tell you, it was very cathartic.

Fell in love. Kind of. Sort of. Okay, fine, it was a movie, but whatever.

Sooo... what's next?!?!?

2010-05-24T20:27:00.012-04:00

Thoughts that crossed my mind during a weekend trip to Vegas...

1) Where's Jacob?

2) Dear person sitting next to me on the airplane: If I am wearing my headphones, leaning on a neck pillow, and closing my eyes, guess what that means? It means that I don't want to have a conversation, thank you very much.

3) Chambord + Sprite = Happy Drea!

4) Why can't I be as beautiful as all the people around me?

5) Am I the only one who thinks that there should be a designated walking lane in the sidewalks of Vegas? If you want to waddle, stay to the right and please leave room to the left for those of us that need to get somewhere!

6) Oh ZARA, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

7) Spending your 29th birthday dinner at a French cafe filled with chatty families and happy couples while sitting all alone at a table for four and nursing a glass of red wine is... really... terribly... extremely... sad. :::Sigh:::

8) Whoa, hold up. Why have I just woken up in a hotel room that's not my own...? FML.

9) I wonder how many of these Chippendales are gay.

10) Is it really necessary for us to be herded around like sheep in order to get into the VIP line for this nightclub? ¡Qué degrading!

11) Penis tattoo = WIN!!!

12) Half a bottle of bubbly + 4 shots of El Patrón = FAIL (read: Getting kicked out of a nightclub where we were supposed to celebrate Apolo Anton Ohno's birthday and thereafter ending up on numerous bathroom floors in the position seen above).

13) I'm never ever going to drink ever again. Ever.

14) Wait... there's a wine festival next weekend?!?! Hmmmm...

2010-05-02T21:21:00.052-04:00

C’est véritablement utile puisque c’est joli...
Ah, what a precious quote from one of my favorite books, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's Le Petit Prince. After reading it this weekend, for what I believe is the 100th time, I was inspired to make an A-B-C list of things I find truly useful because they are beautiful.

Ampersands - This little logogram guarantees that any one thing need not be solitary or alone: Macaroni & Cheese, Boy & Girl, Lion & Lamb, Salt & Pepper, God & Lucifer, You & Me.

Ballet - For me, this is an outlet for any pent up feelings, a unique and special way of expressing every human emotion through the simple sweep of the arm, extension of leg, tilting of the head, twisting of the torso, or morphing of a dancer's body.

Crying - There's something so cathartic about letting it all out. Believe me, I've had more than enough experience with this.

Departure Boards - Whenever I'm at an airport, train station, or bus depot, I can't help but stand before this listing of destinations. I swear, I spend a good five minutes browsing the cities and wondering, "Where's my next adventure?"

Endings - These are often more heartbreaking than they are relieving. But there's always a sense of growth when reaching an ending. Though there's sadness in the closing of one door, there's also the endless (?) possibilities in the opening of a new window.

Falling Slowly - A poignant song from a beautiful movie, which always gives me hope by demonstrating that love can be found in unexpected passing instances throughout our lives.

Growing up - It's not the easiest thing to do, but it's the only way I've discovered who I am and why I am here and what more I need to learn.

Heart - “If your head tells you one thing, and your heart tells you another, before you do anything, you should first decide whether you have a better head or a better heart.” - Marilyn vos Savant (I think I have a better heart).

Imperfections - These are the things about myself that I'm always trying to improve upon. But sometimes, our imperfections are what make us unique; sometimes they are what make us beautiful.

Jane Austen - This Englishwoman's words have probably given me an unrealistic vision of what true love should be. Because of her, I will always be looking for Captain Frederick Wentworth.

Kisses - I learned yesterday that if you eat something SUPER spicy, pop a couple of these in your mouth and all will be okay. And those other types of kisses, especially those of the passionate kind, are not too shabby either.

Lyrics - I really have no idea how some artists have that uncanny ability to take whatever I am feeling in my bruised and broken soul, and turn it into simple syntax which I could never have expressed myself.

Misty Mornings - For me, the dewy smell of a misty morning in the Pacific Northwest always humbles me and proves that nature is much greater than I will ever be.

Nesting Dolls - We are each such mysterious and complex beings, and it is only a select few who receive the privilege of knowing all of our layers.

Oία - Heaven on Earth. Literally.

Primavera - This happens to be my favorite painting. It is also my favorite season of the year, since it is commonly defined as a time of rebirth, renewal and regrowth... an opportunity for me to begin again.

Questions - Life would not be worth living if there were no questions to answer. And since I'm a scholarly type, I'll be dealing with these for the rest of my life.

Red Velvet Cupcakes - I knew I had to include at least one type of food on this list. These fill your tummy and make you happy. It's even better when you baked them from scratch and share them with others. You will be loved.

Smiles - How do you feel when you give these to others? How do you feel when others give these to you? I think that's enough to say about this one.

Taboo - This is probably the most fun I've had with the English language. Yes, more fun than actually teaching it. It gives you an appreciation of what great things our words can do. I'd like to play a round with Noam Chomsky.

UP! - Not only amazing to watch, but also amazing to feel.

Vintage Travel Posters - These little works of art inspire me to keep on traveling. I miss living out of my backpack. I miss being immersed in different cultures. I miss the feeling of being completely anonymous in a foreign place.

Wishing Upon a Star - There is something very childlike and romantic about doing this. It keeps me young at heart. But I think I'm doing it incorrectly, since that one wish I've continually made since I was twelve years old, has not yet come true.

Xylophones - That magical sound this instrument makes remind me of dreams upon waking.

You - Because you look at me that way. Because you listen during both the joy and the pain. Because you forgive me for the mistakes I have made. Because you accept and love me for exactly who I am.

Zeal - If all people approached life with this degree of enthusiasm, we'd be living in a happier and more beautiful world.

2010-04-22T21:54:00.012-04:00

Someday I'm finally gonna let go. 'Cause I know there's a better way. And I wanna know what's over that rainbow. I'm gonna get out of here someday...

Yes, I want to get out of here. I'm want to get out of this current mental/emotional/life funk in which I've recently found myself. My mind is constantly racing. Perhaps Cymbalta can help? I've just finished my 3rd year of graduate school. Have I really been here for that long? It was exactly 3 years ago to the day that I visited Lemon, touring the campus and setting foot in the building in which I'm now always working/teaching/eating/napping. I have finished all my written exams, published two papers, won back-to-back departmental awards, la-di-da-di-da-di-da, and I'm currently preparing for my nerve-racking qualifying exams at the beginning of the next school year. WTF!?!?! I'm incredibly nervous about the year to come. My research advisor and I had one of those shocking/exciting/scary conversations a few weeks ago:

Dr. B.: "Drea, I think that we need to sit down and map out your plans. It's a good idea for you to do your pre-oral in the early fall and once you do that... I don't think it would be difficult for you to be done at the end of next summer."

Me: "Wha-a-a-a-t?"

Dr. B.: "Yeah, let's start thinking about your application packet. Perhaps you should start thinking about where you'd like your career to go, what you'd be like to be doing once you are done here..."

Me: "Wha-a-a-a-t?"

I am shocked to think that I can be out of here so quickly. I mean really, just a little over a year from now?!?! I am excited because I can be out of here so quickly!!! Yes, I can finally leave this god-forsaken part of the country!!! And I am scared to think I can be out of here so quickly. Does that mean I can't be a student anymore? No more homework and free food? I'm going to have to start my career? Start thinking about my life? Start thinking about mortgages and life insurance and 401(k)s? Start thinking about (zomigod) family and kids? And gadgets and gizmos a-plenty and whozits and whatzits galore? Ahhhh!!!!!

Hold up. I've already been thinking about all of this for the past ten years! It's just extremely challenging and incredibly scary. Growing up, growing old, growing sideways, (perhaps) growing wiser. But such is life. And I'm ready for it!!! I think. Maybe. Yeah. Umm, no. Well, just ask me later. Where's that Cymbalta?

2010-04-04T13:19:00.011-04:00

Umm, yeah. My head knows I shouldn't feel this way, but I can't help it. I am so fortunate to have the people I have in my life. I have the most wonderful, supportive, and caring friends and family, and some people are not as lucky as I. SO why isn't that enough? I'm on this island today, so distant from all others. And though this is a sentiment I have had buried for such a long time and it is finally bubbling to the surface now, adding a weight to my heart, an ache to my stomach, a cloud of dust in my lungs, a salty sting to my eyes. This needs to stop. I need a drink.

2010-01-01T13:30:00.004-05:00

New Post! Post! Post!... The Post-apocalypse!?!?

So, if it is true that what you are doing on New Year's Eve is what you will be doing all year long, then 2010 is going to be an awful year for me. Lying in bed with a bad head cold and prickly stomach cramps is not the way I wanted to usher in the new decade. I wonder what this means for me, then... Disease? Despair? Dismemberment? District 9-esque Destruction? I guess we'll have to wait and see...

2009-04-17T23:32:00.011-04:00

I. Can't. Fall. Asleep. !!!.
So I've decided to do this little thingy, as inspired by Rae.

1. What is your first name?
Drea
2. What is your favorite food?
Dim Sum (I could REALLY go for some late night shumai right now)
3. What is your hometown?
Seattle
4. What is your favorite color?
Red
5. What is your favorite movie?
Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulain
6. What is your favorite drink?
Genmai Cha (Japanese green tea with roasted brown rice)
7. What is your dream vacation?
To circumvent the globe
8. What is your favorite dessert?
Dilettante's Gateau Japonaise... which has been described as "a sophisticated blend of dacquoise (nut-flavored meringue) and génoise cake filled with hazelnut buttercream"
9. What is one word to describe yourself?
Compassionate
10. How are you feeling right now?
Congested (stupid allergies and South Carolinian pollen!!!)
11. What do you love most in the world?
Its natural beauty
12. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Happy!

Want to do this, too? Go to Google image search.
- Type in your answer to each question.
- Choose a picture from the first 3 images (I cheated and used the first 5).
- Use this website (http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php) to make your collage.
- Save the image for use in this post.

2009-04-12T15:47:00.011-04:00

Ah, it's been a pretty crappy and infuriating week. Last Monday I found out what I'd be teaching this summer: organic chemistry. BARF! (If you don't recall my feelings for organic chemistry, see this post). I thought that I could fight this teaching assignment off and find a way to teach another course, but after a week of protesting with others, I realize that all my fighting was futile. After talking to the organic lab supervisor, my general chemistry supervisor, and even my PhD advisor, I found all my passionate requests and expressions of my ABSOLUTE HATRED of organic chemistry to be brushed off and unheard. It's not that I am capable of the job; I just feel that I am not the best candidate for it. I don't understand organic chemistry well, the way the organic chemistry labs are taught go against my principles of teaching (for example, students who put little effort into the class still get A's, I know of a student plagiarizing about 50% of his organic lab report without any consequence whatsoever), and did I mention that I HATE organic chemistry? I feel like I was being a given a job that I could not--adamantly did not--want to do, and being a lowly and powerless graduate student I was stuck... and will remain to be so. My conversations and even letter writing have all been shut down. And this has made me realize how graduate students (even good and well-respected ones, see below) are treated like utter shit... there is actually more reasoning behind this statement, but I'm too pissed off to go in to it here, so perhaps I'll vent about that later. Grrrr!

Despite my requests being shafted earlier this week, the chemistry department decided to "honor" me with an award yesterday--a graduate teaching assistant award. Woo?!?!? I guess so, since Mom flew all the way from Seattle to attend the ceremony banquet! She's been around to cheer me up and celebrate Easter with me and my kitty baby. Speaking of babies, check out my new one... yes, it's a KitchenAid KP26M1X Professional 600 Model! She is sooo beautiful and I love her so! I wonder what I should name her. Hmmm....

In the end, this pretty crappy week has ended well. Though it would have been so much better if it ended in witnessing or participating in this...

2009-03-29T08:52:00.002-04:00

Though not as exciting as Harry Potter, this looks AWESOME! Now I want a Harold and the Purple Crayon movie! Or maybe a movie based on that other classic Riki Tiki Tembo No Sa Rembo Chari Bari Ruchi Pip Peri Pembo. Remember that one?

2009-03-26T18:28:00.005-04:00

Okay. I know that I've been really bad at posting during these past few months. I can't give the lame excuse that I've been busy (which is TRUE!!!)... I guess it's just that I think I really don't have anything special to blog about (which is FALSE!!!).

Last weekend was a very special weekend indeed. I spent a little over 48 hours in Seattle to celebrate the wedding of one of my very best friends from childhood, the new Mary Barker! I had such a great time with my family and friends. My short trip to Seattle was filled with a number of great events: gnoshing on dim sum at the House of Hong, salsa dancing at the Century Ballroom, enjoying the food at Sushiland (I was able to talk Rae into tagging along, though I felt guilty from taking her away from her aikido class), watching and crying at the Broadway-themed ballet, having fun at the wedding of course, and eating the greatest waffle ever (a BACON WAFFLE!!!) at the Original Pancake House in Seattle. Woooo!!!

Oh Seattle and friends, how do I love thee?

Checkout the blog of wedding photographer! And this slideshow!

2009-02-12T23:35:00.003-05:00

Ok, I know I've been busy... but look how pretty it is!

2009-01-07T04:33:00.010-05:00

I haven't been around for awhile, but for good reason.
For the past month I've been around this place...

Doing stuff like this...

I'll tell you more about it later, perhaps when I get over this nightmare of jetlag.

2008-12-08T10:55:00.001-05:00

Remember that episode of Punky Brewster???

2008-11-04T22:40:00.047-05:00

Eat, Pray, Love (which by the way is a pretty good book)...then eat some more! In the last two weeks I've been enjoying the sinfulness of autumn gluttony. All I want to do on these chilly days is cozy up en mi casa and eat-eat-eat. The weekend before last, Ellie accompanied me to my first venture to Texas Roadhouse--a steak joint where I had the most amazing chili--and I hosted a little dinner party in which everyone enjoyed my awesome tortilla soup (I'm sorry if that sounds arrogant, but that soup was DEELiSH!!!), chicken adobo, P.F. Chang-inspired turkey lettuce wraps, tofu and turkey stir-fry (and lots of wine). Halloween was celebrated by nosching "fun-size" Twix bars (and please tell me why the hell something so ridiculously small is called "fun") and mini M&Ms. And with my mom's visit to see the fall foliage in the Carolinas this past weekend, she took the initiative to fatten me up by treating me to wonderful meals at local BBQ joints, Southern bistros and grills, and the super elegant restaurant, Devereaux's. YumYum!!! During her visit, she also treated me (and a good number of my friends) to some Paella Valenciana, Filipino egg-rolls, and Super Sashimi! Fortunately (or unfortunately?) I do not have a scale to determine the weight I've gained in the past weeks... but who cares?!?!? I got the metabolism to burn it off and the guts to poop it all out; bring on Thanksgiving!!! So in memory of all those things that partied in mouth and rumbled my tummy, I give to you an alphabet of this recent culinary cacophony.

Amuse-bouche of Shrimp Bisque - To get our palette's going at Devereaux's, Chef Stephen gave us a complimentary taste of a rich shrimp stock accompanied with a grapefruit-cumin whipped cream.

Butternut Squash Soup - My appetizer at the aforementioned five-star restaurant was this savory soup that seemed to capture the essence of autumn.

Curried Chicken - During my dinner party, my friend Ria prepared one hell of an Indian curry, marinated in a cilantro-garlic paste. And it was perfectly spicy!

Duck Breast - I can't resist duck. If I see it on the menu, I have to have it. I never fail to order the moist and fatty poultry. And this entree at Devereaux's rocked!

Empanadas - One of the snacks my mom brought to me from home were these Filipino delights, a slightly sweetened pastry filled with grilled chicken, peas, carrots, raisins, and potatoes. WoOt!!!

Fromage de Chevre Cheesecake - This was actually called "Cheese and Wine" on the dessert menu, but this goat cheese cheesecake was velvety and creamy and served with a wine reduction... and a nice little scoop of black-pepper ice cream!

Gelato of Pineapple Cheesecake - Greenville just opened their first gelato cafe, Luna Rosa, and this is definitely the place to get dessert. The pineapple cheesecake gelato was so light, with an interesting combination of the sweet tang of pineapple and subtle milk of the cheesecake.

Huckleberry-Black Muscat Reduction - This was the sauce that accompanied my duck. Though the word "muscat" resembles "muskrat," I was not the least bit afraid!

Iced Sweet Tea - So mom and I had a glasses of this Sonny's BBQ joint and Copper River Grill. Ever since I arrived in South Carolina, this is my drink of choice. The best sweet tea I've had was like drinking honey. MmmMmm!

Jalapeno Cheddar Cheese - Another gift mom brought me from home was this "white gold" from Washington State University. This cheese goes perfectly with homemade oven-baked corn tortilla chips!

King Crab Legs - Mom "decorated" the top of her paella with these monstrous legs of the sea spiders. The meat from these babies are so sweet and go perfectly with the hints of chorizo within the paella!

Lumpia Shanghai - Enough said!

Mourvedre Wine - This wine accompanied our fine-dining meal. Not too sweet, not to tart, not to dry, not to juicy. Perfect!

Noodle Soup - Mom made Filipino-style chicken noodle soup, complete with the vermicelli noodles that go down your throat like slugs!

Oysters - Imported from the Puget Sound to Clemson, these were especially hand picked directly from the beach by mom and dad! Coated with panko crumbs and then fried, absolutely AMAZING!

Paella Valenciana - Mom spent most of her Monday working on this, from preparing the saffron broth in the morning to cleaning all the shellfish in the afternoon and then baking it right before the guests arrived. Want some?

Quail Prepared Two Ways - To be perfectly honest, Mom's appetizer at Devereaux's was better than mine. One roasted quail leg and then one baked and coated in panko... all served atop a marscapone cheese risotto. Jealous!

Rutabaga Puree - After savouring this root, I think I will never go back to simple mashed potatoes ever again!

She-Crab Soup - Probably one of the best soups I've ever had! I had a wonderful bowl of this at Soby's mini-bistro. Creamy, spicy, sweet, crabby... and the splash of sherry makes it alcoholic, too!

Tiramisu - My friend Monica prepared this wonderful dessert for our dinner party, with lady fingers super soaked in rum and espresso. WooHoo!!!!

Unsweetened Cocoa - The secret to my red velvet cupcakes is adding a lot of this stuff! More than all recipes call for.

Veal Loin - Mom's meal at Devereaux's was this chef's special. Served atop a bed of parsnip risotto. Again, jealous!

White Tuna Sashimi - Make that Super White Tuna. This fish is so buttery and rich and light. I must admit it exceeds super salmon!

Xanthan Gum - Okay, so this was the most difficult one. But it is contained in the gummi bears that I "stole" from the dessert spread at a local Southern buffet joint!

Yeast Rolls - These appetizer rolls from Texas Roadhouse are perfect! And they are served with cinnamon butter!?!?!? C'mon!!!!

Zephyr Squash - These little autumn fruits accompanied my duck entree. I felt like I was eating mini-UFOs.

2008-10-20T19:08:00.006-04:00

What is it that keeps me busy all the time? Ever since the semester started, I've been at school for 9 to 10 hours each day, working away like I've never worked before. I have to get to school early to claim a parking spot (stupid Clemson permanently shut down 2 commumter lots and did not replace them) and then I'm off doing all the things I need to do. In addition to my class in analytical light microscopy (quite intriguing and occassionally dipping into the philosophical) and the three general chemistry laboratories that I'm teaching (quite entertaining because of my enthusiastic students), I've started a project as a real bioinorganic chemist! After almost of month of training on running electrophoresis gels, I'm now investigating the antioxidant properties of compounds derived from tree heartwood. Sounds uberdorky, I know, but it's actually a lot of fun. And I'm finding some really interesting stuff!

This is an electrophoresis gel of one of the compounds I'm investigating, 3-hydroxychromone. Each of the bands you see represent a certain amount of DNA, with each lane containing equal amounts of DNA. In the gel below you've got a number of control lanes (Lanes 1 to 5) and then those with increasing concentrations of my compound of interest (Lanes 6 to 10). The top row of bands (which you can see in Lanes 5 to 10) represent damaged DNA, and the bottom row of bands (which appear in Lanes 2 to 4 and then Lanes 8 to 10) signify healthy and undamaged DNA. Lanes 6 through 10 are the most important, showing that as the concentration of my compound is slowly increased, the DNA stops getting damaged--the upper band of damaged DNA slowly decreases in intensity as the lower band of undamaged DNA slowly increases in intensity. How cool is that?!?!? This little bad boy that I'm studying has antioxidant abilities. WooHoo! :::Pumps fist in the air::: On to (possibly) getting a paper published in an inorganic chemistry journal!!!

2008-10-14T22:50:00.013-04:00

I can't believe I found this!

There was this little tradition at Seattle U where all the seniors had the chance to run naked around The Quad on the last day of school. I remember watching the messy nudist display when I was a sophomore and junior and thinking to myself, "I have too much respect for my body... I will NEVER do anything so lewd and disgusting and crazy." I maintained that train of thought well into my senior year of college, until a friend helped me reach a cathartic realization:

"Drea, when's the next time you're going to have the opportunity to run around naked with a large group of people and have an audience of hundreds watching and cheering on--without getting arrested?"

And so I did--donning a scrap of black lace over my face and a DIY tutu made of an old red and black Loofah--run around like a fool, naked and liberated. Oh what fun!

2008-09-23T20:55:00.008-04:00

...Adios gatito...

It is with a very sad and heavy heart that my family has to say goodbye to one of our precious, long-time members. A number of weeks ago, my mum called to tell me that one of our two cats, Chelsea, was suffering from kidney failure. After bringing little Chels to the vet, she was a given some medication and fluids that were meant to keep her healthy. But unfortunately, Chelsea has not been responding well to the treatment and she's very quickly going downhill. Mom and Dad brought her to the vet again yesterday and the vet informed them that we could either keep Chelsea going (though at the expense of her suffering a great deal of discomfort) or to let her go peacefully. So we've decided to let her go and tomorrow we must bid her farewell.

Chelsea has lived a long and happy life. We first met her and her brother, Chuckie, back in 1991 when we adopted them from a friend of the family. I remember the little runt Chelsea always wrestling with her brother, hiding in nooks and crannies around the house, nestling herself between my back and the back of the recliner to stay warm, and always being very pleased to follow me into the bathroom to rub herself against my legs as I sat on the toilet. Oh, she had her weird moments. But that is what made her special and that is why she will be missed. Lots of kisses to you, sweet kitty. Mwah...

2008-09-06T01:47:00.006-04:00

I'm still here!

What I've accomplished since my last blog:

Aced my summer courses. Visited Seattle. Watched The Goonies under the Space Needle. Ate my first Trophy cupcake. Went camping on the Pacific Coast with the family and Rae and Andrew and Sophie. Climbed through a rainforest. Pretended I was Shawn Johnson on tangles of white driftwood. Was asked to be a bridesmaid! Started a game of SuperScrabble with my favorite scrabbulous ladies. Shopped at H&M (woooo!)!!! Gained 2.5 pounds. Spent 12 hours at school on the first day of school. Was given the honor of being a "model" teaching assistant. Cultured bacteria. Harvested DNA. Learned how to run an electrophoresis gel. Witnessed the live formation of a funnel cloud. Mastered baking red velvet cupcakes. Read a series of books about vampires and werewolves. Taught my friend how to use chopsticks. Met a girl from Peru con quien tengo un intercambio de idiomas! Cut my own hair. Rekindled my love for dancing in the ballet studio.

What's next...?

2008-07-29T20:31:00.011-04:00

NO WAY! This is the biggest load of crap ever!!!!!

2008-07-04T22:01:00.011-04:00

My brain hurts. I'm tired of science. Scientists make me mad. Well, at least chemists do. The chemists in my department. All they want are results, results, results. Answers, answers, answers. For the past month, I've been speaking to a number of my fellow graduate students and I mostly hear complaints about their reactions not working, which makes their advisors get pretty upset. The crazy advisors then tell their minions, "Well... just make it work!" Don't these stupid chemists understand that the whole nature of scientific discovery is making mistakes 99% of the time? Poop!!!

I think my brain pain may be attributed to my first education course, which I've just finished. We started studying critical theory and read a really interesting essay about French social philosopher Michel Foucault, a leader in the post-structuralist movement. This guy basically says the stuff we "know" is arbitrary. Here's an excerpt from a paper I wrote for class:

Because words are used as symbols to describe the world, words can never truly represent the “reality” of objects in the world. The post-structuralist believes that “we create our truths, which in turn frame, regulate, and control our lives… The truth is nothing more or less than our attempts to read/write the world” (Martusewicz & Reynolds, p. 13). From this perspective, “knowledge” and “truth” are simply arbitrary constructs of society; they are never stable and static, as they stem from social and historical contexts that are susceptible to change. Post-structuralists postulate that “discourses [ways of knowing and understanding] and the institutions and practices that support them are social forces that motivate and guarantee the production of knowledge” (Martusewicz & Reynolds, p. 13). As a critical perspective, post-structuralism contributes to raising questions and awareness on how the world is viewed by both the society and the individual. However, this theory poses a major question: If nothing can ever truly be known, than what is the purpose of learning or understanding?

Despite the apathy and pessimism that post-structuralism seems to produce, it is interesting to find that this perspective has been reflected in history. Foucault claims that what is viewed and believed as “truth” at a certain time in history depends on the power and knowledge relationships that exist at that time. Power and knowledge, though not identical, are closely related; Foucault struggled with the nature of the relationship between power and knowledge, claiming that power, an active process, somehow stems from knowledge, yet the process of power also reproduces knowledge. Arising from the power-knowledge relationship are ideas and discourses, which ultimately form a “regime of truth.” Historical examples of these include those visions of Hitler in Germany and apartheid in South Africa. These ideas were once held as “true” and “right,” though through the power-knowledge relations of the present, they are viewed as quite the opposite.

To many in today’s world, science is received as completely valid and infallible. Scientific proof is viewed as unquestionable; if science can explain a system, then that system is known and accepted to be true. However, “truth” within science does change. In his work The Structure of Scientific Revolutions, philosopher of science Thomas S. Kuhn (1996), provides numerous examples of anomalies and contradictions to scientific “regimes of truth” that eventually overthrow the dominating and accepted power-knowledge relationships to become the new “regime of truth.” Kuhn presents many of these “scientific revolutions” and “paradigm shifts” in which ideas and concepts in science have indeed changed. A major example is that of the “Copernican Revolution,” which ultimately changed the way the world was viewed. The “true” universe was once viewed through the theories of the early scientist Ptolemy, who claimed that the Earth was the center of the universe and all other planets and stars revolved around this center. Over time, as astronomers made more observations and technology developed, numerous discrepancies began to arise and challenge Ptolemy’s theory. When Copernicus stated his theory that the universe did not revolve around the Earth, but in fact the Earth and other planets revolved around the sun, the Ptolemy regime was over and a new “regime of truth” came into power. While the Copernican theory still rules today, one cannot help but question from the post-structuralist perspective if another may one day take its place. The post-structuralist view is indeed a challenging perspective, essentially claiming that truth can never be known, yet it interesting that the history of science—science which has always been accepted as factual and unwavering—has shown itself to submit to various “regimes of truth.”

So... why the hell am I in graduate school? Am I really learning anything? Maybe I should go back to Athens or Rome and wear a toga, become a philosopher. I think I need to get outta here.

References
Martusewicz, R.A. & Reynolds, W.M (Eds.). (1994). Inside/Out: Contemporary critical perspectives in education. New York: St. Martin’s Press.

Oh yeah, one more thing...

Listen—if I let a high school poem affect me, today I’d be a tree.

2008-06-13T07:10:00.010-04:00

¡Hola Gatito!

Here she is, my new precious friend. Ever since the ordeal at the end of spring semester, I had been thinking of adding a member to my household to keep me company. So upon my return to the ButtCrack of Nowhere Clemson, I visited the animal shelter with my friend Ellie in search of a new kitty. I was immediately drawn to this tiny creature, who affectionately played with my hand when I pet her and stared at me with her beautiful blue eyes. I decided to adopt her and another older cat, but when they met the hissing and aggression between the two was something my already stress-heavy life couldn't handle. So now I've got this one as my most precious little baby.

Insisting that my new kitty only speak and understand Spanish, I spent a few days contemplating a good Spanish name. Bella ("beauty") was too cheesy, Gamba ("shrimp") was irrelevant, Basura ("garbage") was too cruel (yes, too cruel, Dwight Schrute!). Since she has an off-white coat with a dark tail and dark paws, it looked to me as if she just walked through a fireplace; thus the name Ceniza (pronounced se-nee-za... or theh-nee-tha for purists), which is "ash" in Castellano. Ceniza has a personality far from ash (though she sneezes quite a bit), as she loves to pounce on yarn, actually play in her litter box, and attack boxes of Kleenex. The most entertaining of her activities is jumping in the air, looking like a flying squirrel, as she tries to capture her feathered cat toy. Indeed, my little one is breath of fresh air in these dark and difficult times of mine.

Yes, it's true... I'm still suffering from a broken heart. Though I now have classes and some research to distract me during the day, I find myself crying every morning when I wake up and crying myself to sleep when the sun sets. At times I can't find a reason to keep on living. What do I have to offer the world? Why should I be here if no one needs me? I'm all alone in this place; so very alone. It hurts so much to think of having offered my great heart to someone and to not have that someone accept it and appreciate it. It makes me feel so small and rejected, so unworthy of being alive. I hate it so much... every single day is a huge mountain to climb and I'm getting very tired. I'm so very tired...

2008-05-07T23:08:00.007-04:00

In The Sound of Music, Maria says to the Reverend Mother, "When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window." I am right now in this room. Some part of me wants that door behind me to open so that I can go back and be with that person I cared about. I dearly miss what is behind that door... but the door is closed. It cannot be opened. And the window... I'm so terrified of the window. I'm not ready to look outside it and see what lies beyond. I'm scared that nothing is there for me. And so I'm stuck in this room with a broken heart and feeling that nothing can be done.

And oh, how my heart still hurts. For the past few days I've been keeping myself at home, in my bed, isolating myself from the rest of the world. At the moment, it's the only thing that makes sense to me, the only thing that feels right. It sounds weird, but it's as if I feel secure in my sadness, it's the only place I belong. I'm afraid to go out alone, afraid to wander to those places that still hold so many memories. I've been in such despair for the past week, wondering why I'm here, trying to find a reason to go on... and I just can't find a reason. I have moments where I don't care about anything anymore, where I just want to fall asleep... and stay asleep forever.

Why must this hurt so much? And where do I go from here?

2008-04-26T18:05:00.006-04:00

How awful! I believe this little drawing expresses a lot of what I'm feeling right now. It's been a terrible week for me. A terrible, horrible week. It all started on Monday... this week was the last week of the semester and so it was quite hectic and stressful to finish up final papers and sort out the final grades for all of my students. After rushing through grading papers on Monday morning, Dr. Cooper came into my office and revealed some horrifying news: the husband of one of my fellow graduate students had committed suicide that morning. I was shocked. Sad. Terrified. That one event brought back so many memories with my own feelings of depression, with some past situations in my own life where I've almost lost people very dear to me who have tried to take their own lives. I didn't know what to do or say... What do you say to a person--a woman and a mother--who has just lost a husband in such a tragic way? My only reaction was to comfort her and see her... but it was so difficult. I visited her every night this past week, even spent the night at her place twice to keep her company. But I fear for her and her daughter. And the whole situation has shaken me up so much!

And because of this ordeal, I've become quite depressed. I can't sleep. I've lost my appetite. And yesterday some counselors came in to our office to try to help us get through this situation. Though their help wasn't really helpful at all... I was so shaken and despondent and tired from all the emotions that I had been feeling that all I wanted to do was go home and be comforted. It would've been nice to do this with Todd, but he had already made plans to go to a baseball game with his ex-girlfriend. And while standing their with my grief and heavy heart I told Todd that I couldn't do it anymore. That I couldn't be with someone who wouldn't be there and give me the emotional support that I needed during such a trying time. We have been having problems recently, pertaining to my extreme sensitivity and the lack of comfort that I receive from him. And I made it quite obvious that I needed him, but he insisted on going to this baseball game... and we left it at that.

I spoke to him this morning and I now believe that it really is all over between the two of us. And this hurts me so much! I really enjoy learning to play golf with him, having picnics with him, just talking and having fun with him. And I've never been in a relationship before and I've never had to deal with a break up. I've been crying all day, trying to find a way to keep my head up. But it's so hard. Terribly difficult, when all I want to do is curl up in a ball and lie in bed and cry. I've had a hard time finding comfort here with the people that surround me. I don't have many wonderful friends here as I do at home. I don't know if I can do this alone. I'm so so so sad and fragile now and I wish that someone could just give me a nice big hug... Oh! What am I to do?!?!

2008-04-10T22:12:00.009-04:00

Nothing's really changed... It's almost been three years since Hurricane Katrina settled itself upon New Orleans, yet while driving over the I-10 into the city last Saturday evening, it seemed as if that terrible storm had just passed a month ago. As we were approaching town last weekend, I was looking over to the northern suburbs and saw boarded up homes, abandoned Wal-Marts and warehouses, churches with shattered glass windows, hotel and street signs leaning over roads like dead trees. I was saddened by what I saw, by the remnants of the destruction that still remain, by the fact that homes and communities were yet to be revived, by the silence and lack of life that seemed to hang over some neighborhoods. Hmmmph...

In stark contrast was the center of the city of New Orleans. Walking through the French Quarter reminded me of walking through the streets of Spain, Paris, and Amsterdam. There was that familiar stench of humidity, that familiar look of sidewalk cafes, that familiar feeling of walking through Gothic quarters. I spent one bright afternoon walking along the Mississippi River and sitting on the grassy expanse of its banks, which brought me back to those long afternoons I would spend on the boardwalk and beaches of Barcelona. I loved being back in a big city, adored being on the water again... In a very strange way, it felt like I was home!

For me, New Orleans was a culinary adventure. I stuffed my face with steamed cajun crawfish, fried catfish, spicy shrimp po'boys, fried oysters, crab bisque, crawfish pie, gumbo, jambalaya, red beans and rice, beignets, Bananas Foster... and Arby's! The big splurge of the trip was going to Emeril's restaurant on 800 Tchoupitoulas Street (isn't that the coolest named street?) where I had one of the best salads of my life: Abita Root Beer Braised “Fresh Bacon” Salad with Abita Root Beer Braised Niman Ranch Pork Belly with Citrus Slaw, Marinated Yucca, Heirloom Radish, Shaved Jalepeno, Goat Cheese and Pork Cracklings. Mmm mmm mmm! De-lish!

2008-04-09T23:17:00.008-04:00

Dork-us Maximus, Part Deux Click this link and you'll find further proof of my chemistry nerdy-ness in New Orleans during these past five days. Just scroll down a wee bit. Weird... I'm (very very briefly) blogging about being blogged!

2008-03-31T19:46:00.008-04:00

Dork-us Maximus...

Finally, after almost three months of waiting, I've received my membership card for the American Chemical Society. Yessssss!!! Honestly, it's not too exciting to be an official chemistry dork. I'd much rather be an Academy member, so that I could vote for Best Picture and Best Foreign Animated Short. Heh heh. That'll be the day! Anyways, my first experience as an ACS member will be going down to New Orleans next week to attend one of the bi-annual dork-galore conferences. It'll be a great opportunity for me to meet people within my field of chemical education and to see how nerdy chemists can actually get off discussing their latest research on nano-particle flux capacitor Starship Enterprises. Can you just feel the excitement?!?!?

I'm now five weeks away from finishing my first year of graduate school. And this is what I've learned thus far:

1) I hate organic chemistry
2) Chemists + Alcohol = Embarrassing disaster
3) Graduate students = Lemmings
4) Bananas have anti-oxidants
5) Absolutely nothing about chemistry

It's quite typical that first year graduate students do pointless work, but when I came here I was looking forward to actually being productive as a student and as a teaching assistant. Apparently all that stuff will happen next semester... But I can't say that I've been fully unproductive. My advisor and I are conducting interviews and looking into the ethical conduct of chemistry graduate students and we're finding some pretty interesting stuff that I'm not at liberty to say.

In other news, my golf swing is slowly improving and I've taken a liking to miniature golf. On Easter weekend Todd and I went to three different putt-putt courses in the small Bavarian town of Helen, located in the middle of the Georgia mountains. During one of the games, I almost beat him on the back nine, but screwed up on the easiest 2-foot putt. I'm really not that good. We also went trout fishing in some guy's front yard. He had advertised his trout farm as an adventure, but it took us literally 10 seconds from casting a line into his pond to getting a bite. It was a quick 22-minute fishing expedition in which we caught four good-sized rainbow trout. And they made a very delicious Emeril-inspired dinner.

2008-03-16T01:40:00.007-04:00

As I couldn't be bothered to think of anything interesting to say, I decided to go back in time. An excerpt from my travel diary, dated 16 March 2006...

Guess what? Still cold. Here I am, in a classic Viennese cafe, Cafe Sperl. I just had my coffee and sachertorte... and I feel very mod. Being here makes me want to be a poet or a painter or something. This place is a musty Hapsburg yellow, a bit smoky, with great red upholstered furniture... classy and majestic. This morning I woke up to (more!!!) snow and walked down to the Hapsburg summer home, Schönbrunn Schloss... the home of Maria Theresas, Marie Antoinettes, and lots of Franzs and Ferdinands. I walked into the room where Mozart kissed Maria Theresa! And while walking the palace grounds, there were some little Austrian kids trying to sell me their crayon drawings. How charming!

I loved Vienna. It reminded me of a wedding cake gone awry... I miss Europe. I heart Europe. I wish I had the money and time to go back during this week's spring break. But alas! I will be stuck in Clemson, writing a review paper on mixed-ligand copper complexes. Yuck! However, the end of the week looks interesting, as Todd and I may go to Helen, Georgia aka the Leavenworth of this part of America. Maybe this Bavaria away from Bavaria will fill-in for my desires for European adventures? We'll see...

Oh, yes. A tornado almost hit my house today!

2008-01-22T15:59:00.001-05:00

Spot the chemistry dork(s)!!!

As most of you know, I'm on my way to becoming a chemistry professor and there's no better place to train than here at teeny-tiny Clemson University. Melanie Cooper, the author of this beautiful laboratory manual, is a distinguished professor at Clemson and though she is not my Ph.D advisor, I have a lot of contact with her. So much contact, in fact, that she asked me and my fellow chemistry education graduate students to pose for the cover shot of the new edition of her lab manual! I got my copy yesterday and it will start being distributed later this fall, just in time for the new school year. Look for it on amazon.com!!!

We were trying to achieve a "cooperative learning" shot, where everyone in the group was involved in the experimental process. I felt really stupid playing around with food-colored water, doing a titration with a machine I'd never used before... it was hard not to laugh, as you could see from the smile on my face. Beth, who's behind me, kept teasing me for not know what I was doing; Todd, the one holding the old lab manual, had that huge fake smile glued onto his face the entire time; and Greg kept making his serious supermodel pose. It felt ridiculous doing it and we didn't think the any of shots would be good enough to make the cover... but apparently we were wrong! And now I've been immortalized as a chemistry über-dork!

Wanna signed copy? Hee hee hee!

2008-01-09T18:10:00.000-05:00

I said, Brrr!!! It's cold in here! There must be some Toros in the atmosphere! Bring it on, biotches!

2008-01-03T20:27:00.001-05:00

Because it's lovely weather for a sleigh ride together with you...

Like my past three New Year's celebrations, my last weekend of 2007 was once again spent outside of Seattle. Though I wasn't in Europe this time around, I was lucky enough to spend it with my best friends: Rae, Andrew, and Super-SnowDog Sophie. I rang in 2008 with hugs and kisses from them (and with a special someone over the phone). We spent the weekend snowshoeing, enjoying rivers dotted with snow marshmallows, inner-tubing down buttache-inducing slopes, comforting ourselves with hearty foods, pushing cars with dead batteries out of garages, and playing intense rounds of Pictionary. I don't remember ever enjoying the snow so much... but that's probably due to the fact that I haven't been exposed to it in quite a long while... and that I had the opportunity to share it with such wonderful people!

I find it unbelievable that 2008 is already here. Time for a new president. Time for a leap year. Time to start my graduate research project. Time to celebrate the four-year anniversary of going to Barcelona. My God, it's been four years! How time does fly by!

I wonder what this year will bring....

2007-12-14T15:17:00.000-05:00

The fish are jumping and the cotton is high, as they say... I've made it through my first semester of graduate school! My final exams finished on Wednesday and I've been enjoying the past few days relaxing and doing absolutely nothing productive... if you count packing bags for home, eating wonderful high-class meals, and finishing off a gingerbread house as unproductive! It feels great to be free of all the classes... no more organic chemistry with Professor Snape, no more excruciatingly boring physical chemistry lectures, no more stupid z-orbital elongation problem sets! I'm just keeping my fingers crossed so that my grades will be good enough for me to avoid academic probation. We'll see...

I can't believe that it's been only four months since I arrived in South Carolina, with feelings of apprehension and stress and loneliness. Things have indeed changed, now that I know I can handle these classes and now that I've settled down into a quiet little life here. Though I miss the excitement of a city like home, I've been adjusting to the lifestyle I came here to live. Before starting school here, I thought it would be good to experience this small-town life... it would help me relax and slow down a bit. I think that I've become a bit more patient and I've found that I can survive without sushi and dim sum... though I've yet to succumb to the usage of the phrase "y'all." I'm trying to avoid that as much as possible. Yes, I think I am learning other things besides chemistry!

So, I'm heading home tomorrow for three wonderful weeks of a Seattle goodness. So excited am I!

Can you guess what inspired my gingerbread house?

2007-11-18T15:51:00.004-05:00

Triple Bogey (no, they're not three British boogers)!

My brother was scolding me for not updating my blog and told me to "stop having fun"... Well, Sooorrry, bro!!! I don't think I'm having too much fun, but as the following shots portray, maybe I am. For the past few weeks I've been learning how to swing a golf club and I look like a complete mess while doing so. My stance is too far away from the ball and the maximum force of my swing is not where it should be. I'm such a klutz! But I finally hit the green the other day and my current goal is to hit the ball up and over the green. I've so much to work on!
Ok, what follows is a bit embarassing...

The golfing is just one bit of fun that I've been having. The second one was yesterday, when I attended my first (and possibly last) ever Clemson football game. After being convinced by a number people to have this essential Clemson experience, I succumbed to purchasing a hideously orange sweatshirt and Harry Potter-inspired orange and navy blue scarf. And I must admit that I had a good time at the game. I'd never before experienced such football frenzy and madness and I got sucked into the intensity of it all. There was this incomplete pass near the end of the fourth quarter and I was actually heartbroken when I saw the football slip out of the hands of the reciever right at the end zone. Even though Clemson lost 20-17 to Boston College, I found myself quite entertained. What was not so entertaining was walking through the thousands of tailgate parties, witnessing all the drinking and drunken foolishness that happens before the game. That was all weird and disgusting, but I guess that's what these Southerns do for fun... seeing that there is no other form of civilized diversion around here. Gross, gross, gross!!! I feel quite condescending for saying it, but that's how I see it.

And finally, in other news, I'm going to a small town in Mississippi for Thanksgiving. Mwah hah hah hah...

2007-10-28T11:26:00.000-04:00

I did something really idiotic yesterday. After going to the grocery store and returning home, I was backing into my garage and I knocked the passenger side rearview mirror off of my car. I felt sooooo stupid! I AM sooo stupid! Really, is there now anyone in the world as idiotic as I am??? Now I have to tape it back onto the side of the car and drive around with my Hedwig looking all poor and injured. I need to find a body shop that can fix it. It really sucks! I feel so bad everytime I think about it. Grrrrrr.... Drea is such an ASS!!!

2007-10-24T19:07:00.001-04:00

There was a tornado around these parts last night. Before the funnel landed, the air was muggy and warm and the sky turned red and Legolas said, "Blood will be spilt this night." Heh heh heh... This past month has been such a whirlwind and I can't believe I'm still half sane. We passed the midterm almost two weeks ago and I find that I'm (barely) surviving Professor Snape's class (the original class of 22 students has dwindled down to half), I'm (really) kicking-ass in my inorganic chemistry class, and I'm slowly settling down into the life of a chemistry graduate student (and maybe into the life of a South Carolinian). Like being hypnotised, you can't really describe what graduate school is like if you've never lived it. It's an enormous mess of work and very little play with an exertion of brain power that I'm afraid I don't have. Strangely, I find myself enjoying it and the camaradarie that I've developed with my fellow sufferers-in-chem.

Autumn is (finally!!!) approaching and the leaves are beginning to change pretty colors. There's a tree that I drive under everyday that makes me giddy everytime I drive under it. It's got these wonderful shades of crimson, canary, and clementine that make me awestruck... and I know that it won't be around for much longer, as those leaves will eventually fall and I will have to await for next year to see them again. I've yet to purchase candy for Halloween (I'm not so sure if kids will be trick-or-treating around my neighborhood) and I'm still planning to host my holiday season dinner... complete with turkey, ham, mashed taters, and maybe some experimentation into southern cuisine. We'll see...

And can you believe Dumbledore's gay???

2007-09-26T22:58:00.003-04:00

You are getting very sleepy. On the count of three you will hear my voice and nothing else. Listen to what I say. You are getting very sleepy... I just arrived home from my first hypnotic experience. It was excellent. Amazing! So much fun! After a long day of trying to understand some organic chemistry homework, I was invited by a couple of friends to attend the hypnotist show on campus. I remember having seen my classmates hypnotized at my high school graduation party and I knew then that it was something I wanted to try. And I finally had my chance tonight!

There's no way to describe how it felt... I was conscious but at the same time there was this powerful influence over me, telling me exactly where I was and what I should be doing. I remember bits and pieces, but not everything... I would do it again in a heartbeat, though!

There were a couple of hundred of people packed into the theater when we arrived and I thought that there was no way in hell that I would be chosen to be up on that stage. But after the hypnotist gave his introduction and let volunteers hop onto the stage, I sprang outta my chair, sprinted down the aisle, flew on the platform that was about three feet off the ground, and claimed my spot behind one of the fifteen chairs on the stage. There were about 40 of us up there initially, but after the first few tests, I was immediately under the spell and was allowed to stay with about 20 others. Apparently (from what I've been told) madness ensued and I was one of the highlights of the show.

I don't recall how it all happened, but from my friends' accounts and my hazy memory, my hypnotic state proceeded like this:
1) I was told to hold a heavy dictionary in my left hand and I fell to the ground since it was so heavy.
2) I slept a lot and had a difficult time waking up.
3) I was at a white sandy beach in the Bahamas and was so in tune with the tropical surroundings that I wandered off stage for awhile and somehow a stagehand found me and led me back to the rest of the hypnotized.
4) I drank a glass of water that was actually vinegar.
5) After being allowed to sit in one of the chairs, I was told to be captivated by my neighbor's after shave and I kept smelling him for a quite awhile.
6) The hypnotist told me that I was a human seat belt, so every time I heard the words "Safety" I had to stretch myself out over as many laps as possible to save as many lives as I could. And during one of my heroic moments, I hurt someone's testicles. Oops.
7) A belt turned into a snake and I told the hypnotist not to touch it! He'd die!
8) A bottle of water moved by itself and freaked us all out.
9) There was a dance contest and I almost won $10,000!
10) I saw a lot of people naked.

After we were told to come out of it, I remember walking off the stage, trudging back to my seat, and having everyone look at me with strange smiles and glances. A number of people said, "Safety Belt!" to me. I was asked to stick around for awhile and I was then interviewed by the manager of the hypnotist and asked to participate in future hypnotist activities... Did I mention that the whole night was put on camera?

I need to find that damned tape...

2007-09-23T10:08:00.002-04:00

New! Nuevo! Nova! Nouveau! Everything's new! New hair, new grades, new people, new interior design...

Look! I got a haircut. It makes me happy. It's kinda Amelie-punk-rockish and I don't think the picture does it justice. But it's super-cool! I got it done last weekend after dropping Dad off at the airport. He came and visited me last weekend and spoiled me rotten with food (Filipino adobo!!!), groceries (my fridge and pantry were looking very sparse), home decor (I now have cherry blossoms in my house), and an electric piano (I can now play Canon in D 50 times a day)!!! It makes me happy.

You know what doesn't make me happy? Professor Snape, my organic potions teacher. We had an exam last week and I got a 20 out of 100. My first ever failing grade! And it's not like I didn't study. Even if you spit out all the knowledge in your cerebrum about the reaction rates of chloro-cyclopropane versus vinyl chloride and give him nice little drawings of the resonance structures, he'll still give you zero points for not writing the word "aromatic." He really makes me pissed (in the American sense of the word, not the British).

To cheer myself up, I hosted a little party a mi casa last night. The first (of many???) social gatherings at my place! I loved playing Martha Stewart. In attendance were seven of my fellow graduate students, people who I've slowly been getting to know and enjoy spending time with.<-- Hey, does that look bad, that dangling preposition? Anyways, we had a wonderful menu (all prepared by yours truly) of bacon-wrapped ricotta-filled dates, gougere, pear-feta-pecan salad, spinach lasagna, stuffed eggplant, chicken parmigiana, pecan tarts, and lots and lots and lots of wine. I think the food made everyone happy, since it was suggested, "Drea, can you make this dinner party thing a once a month event?" Heh heh. The wine definitely made me happy. It also made me forget what happened during the rest of the night. All I do remember is playing a terrible game of Taboo, trying to teach someone how to play 'Heart and Soul' on the piano, and having a magically cleaned kitchen after everyone left. Hmmmm...

Looky here. That's how much wine we drank. Somebody left their sunglasses, I'll have to return them. One of my guests brought me flowers, aren't they pretty? And there's my new papasan behind the flowers! Do you see the cherry blossoms next to the piano? The walls are beginning to get some color, too. So new! I just want to say that I now love my house.

I'll give you 50 Schrute bucks if you can find Dwight!

2007-09-08T10:13:00.002-04:00

Bits and baubles. A few things that I have learned this week...

I personally believe that this week I could have been diagnosed with insomnia, bipolar disorder, or Tourette's Syndrome and like, such as. It has been such a roller-coaster ride of a week: I've been living on about four hours of sleep every evening; I've been going through periods of energy and giddyness (while teaching my first chemistry labs) and periods of extreme agony (while pondering my terrible loneliness); and I've had insane litte bouts of cursing every damned thing under the f***in sun (such as the organic molecule cubane, the horrid orange color that contaminates the entire Clemson campus, my organic chemistry professor, fire ants, and my neighbor's motorcycle that starts revving at 6AM every morning).

2) When you go to the grocery store here in the South, you place your items in a "buggy" (not a cart or a "trolley").

3) I personally believe that I have been achieving my goal of bringing "high fashion" to the U.S. Americans of the South Carolina. Because, some people here are like, "You're always so cute!" and "Where do you go shopping?" (to which I reply in my head, NOT around here) and "Cool sunglasses, Jackie O!" and like, such as. And I believe that my style will help the Clemson and South Africa have a better and brighter future.

4) The dot above the letters i or j is called a tittle; it's a type of διακριτικός (diacritic). Don't you love Wikipedia?

5) Chinese food around here sucks.

2007-08-29T09:12:00.001-04:00

It's time for me to cry. Though it's perfectly normal to experience sadness and discomfort during new and drastic transitions, I'm feeling abnormally despondent about how my life will unfold here. I've been incredibly lonely and feeling so out-of-place. The only one I can really talk to is my teddy-moose from Cananda!

Last night was the Back-to-school chemistry department picnic. I went with hopes of getting to know more people, but I found that all anyone talked about was one of two things: 1) chemistry and 2) Clemson football. The first topic was something that I wanted to avoid discussing and the second topic was something that I did not give a rat's ass about. In addition there was the standard student chat about what professors are "dangerous", how to pass exams without really passing exams, gossip about this student and that student. Blah blah blah... It's been pretty much the same chat for the past few weeks. And I'm not really inspired to join into those types of conversations. Though I've made my efforts to start interesting discussions, I've discovered that there's not much I have in common with people here. I haven't found anyone that's feeling the same way I do, that's going through a parallel struggle of being somewhere so different. That's making it difficult for me to make a friend; I feel like I have so much life to share and talk about, but no one is really interested in listening.

I've been so lucky to have wonderful people around me through all the other stages of my life--people that do listen, people who have lovingly supported me through tough times, people that share their happiness and sadness with me, people that can actually talk about Harry Potter with the same zeal as myself... these are the people who have surrounded me and continue to surround me during this difficult stretch (though at quite a distance away). These are the friends that make my life so complete and joyful. Growing up, I had my Circle 4; in high-school I had my anti-Seattle Prep friends; in college I met my dearest partner-in-phone-pranking-crime; in Spain I had my Osos Malos; and even when travelling on Greek cruise ships and Austrian trains I met some of the most intelligent and interesting people. In all these phases of my life, I have had people around whom I could be just me. And I expected to find that here in this brand new place. But here... there's no one.

What am I to do?

2007-08-23T22:45:00.003-04:00

"Welcome to hell."

That's what they should've told us when we arrived, instead of "Welcome to the Clemson University Chemistry Department," with their sickeningly sweet smiles. Though yesterday was the official first day of class, the professor never showed up for lecture. So after 15 minutes of waiting around for our MIA prof, my whole class bailed. That meant that today was my first day of classes. And boy was I scared shitless. At 0800, I entered my "Chemistry of Transition Elements" lecture feeling groggy and unmotivated (as did the rest of my peers) and as I opened my textbook, I was bombarded by theories of radial and angular wave functions, polyelectronic orbital theory, and a brief history of inorganic chemistry Nobel Prize winners. Woo-Hoo! I was singled out as the only student in the classroom who had never had a previous undergraduate inorganic chemistry course, which made me feel quite confident in my abilities to understand all the madness I'd be learning this semester. Indeed.

What else? Did you know that even though the mercury hasn't dropped below 90F degrees since the day I got here, the entire chemistry building feels like Antarctica? I don't know why they blast the air conditioning, but we're all freezing in our little first-year graduate study room. Seriously, I want to bring my North Face Parka to school just to feel comfortable... even though it's still 100F f***ing degrees outside! Indeed.

Anyways... about 4 hours later came my organic chemistry class. Never in my academic career (or in any situation of my entire life) have I felt so small, idiotic, helpless, intimidated, and disrespected. The professor in that class. Jesus. I just can't... As my fellow classmate said after the lecture, "What a douche bag!" It's as if this professor's purpose in life is to humiliate his students and makes us feel as insignificant as the electrons he is speaking about. We're given questions that we've no idea how to answer and if you look at him with a blank face... that's it. You're busted. It's definitely not an environment that inspires learning and that's encouraging of thought. Indeed.

So just by looking back on this first day of graduate school, I've only one thought:

I. AM. FUCKED.

Indeed.

2007-08-20T22:19:00.010-04:00

The madness begins the day after tomorrow. I shall be starting my graduate school career with a grand physical chemistry lecture. As an undergraduate, I hated physical chemistry... and I don't think my opinion has changed much over the past four years. I've also been told that the p-chem professor is a "bi-polar hard-ass" so that completely heightens my desire to start the class. During my first semester at Clemson, I'll be taking physical thermodynamic chemistry, phyical organic chemistry, and inorganic chemistry of transition elements. Sounds exciting, no? In addition, I'll be teaching three general chemistry laboratories to freshmen punks, and attending bi-weekly research seminars. Sounds even more exciting!!! Not really. This is definitely a far cry from teaching the difference between "will" vs. "be going to" and having casino nights for international students. What the hell have I got myself into???

Let me introduce you to my new home. I can do this because my internet was finally installed today! After a week of frustrating phone calls with f***in AT&T (how I loathe them!) my DSL is finally working at home, so.... This is my living room, with its sparse decor. I'm trying to go for an Asian theme, with chinese silk pillow covers and buddah-busts. My DirectTV was just installed yesterday, too. This area doesn't even receive basic antenna signals, so I was forced to get the satellite package. Now I can watch Project Runway, Top Chef, The Office, and High School Musical 2!!! One of the greatest things about the space is that I have so much room to dance around when I'm bored.

And this is my dining room which is situated right in front of the kitchen. While I was at IKEA, I chose the large 8-10 person table, though now I'm afraid that it won't be getting a lot of use. I can't see myself inviting that number of people over... I can't see myself inviting even one person over. At least, not anytime soon. Why, you ask? Culinary refined taste is something that is definitely lacking in this town. Mention sushi or kebabs or curry or pad thai (I challenge you to find them here) and you receive cringes or strange glances that indicate that you're mental. I think I should make it my duty help these people appreciate the taste of satay and adobo. In the meantime, it's gonna be a lonely table. Therefore, you must come and fill it up, please! And if you come visit me, I will cook a lovely meal for you from my wonderful, spacious kitchen. There's so much counter and shelf space, which I've never before had the pleasure of using all to myself. Even though I'm not preparing massive meals that will please the hungriest of bears (it's just Cheese and Macaroni for me), the vastness of my kitchen is a definite perk...

Let's move on to the master bedroom. There's not really much to say about it. It's a lovely queen-sized bed (yessssss!!!!) and I can toss and turn however much I want. It's all mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!!!

Well then, that's my home. It's still got room to grow and it will come along in time. I hope you enjoyed your tour! Take care and consider yourselves lucky to not have to learn about degenerate z- in and z- out molecular orbitals. Bah!

2007-08-15T16:00:00.000-04:00

Graduate school is scary. I've been in my new "home" for a little over a week and time and time again I ask my, "What the hell am I doing here?" It's not that this place is bad, it's just that everything is so different and the transition isn't something I've taken too easily. From buying everything in the new house to buying a new car (a snowy white Nissan Sentra whom I've named "Hedwig" in honor of Harry Potter's owl) to starting my graduate school life, I've been overwhelmed with the drastic changes in my life. And I'm surprised that I'm still alive and sane enough to handle it all.

To be perfectly honest, I don't know if I can do this. I kind of applied to graduate school as a kind of obligation and now that I'm here and seeing all the work I have to do (three courses, teaching three general chemistry labs, attending various seminars) in addition to dealing with the house and trying to have a social life, I think that I've made the wrong choice. I'm so scared and nervous and I want to go home! I wonder, is that a bad thing to say? Or is it just the initial fear of all this new stuff? That said, this is the same way I felt when I went to Barcelona for the first time... and looked what happened to me there.

Anyways, enough of my whining and ramblings. If you are curious, here's the information you can use to find me in this hick-part of America...

(address removed because of fear of stalkers... Thanks Rae!)

2007-08-04T00:39:00.000-04:00

The shortest entry thus far. Goodbye Seattle, Hello South Carolina. So sad.

2007-06-10T09:41:00.000-04:00

I have found the new love of my life: Greek gastronomy. Never in my life have I been in such ecstasy from eating a meal. For the past few days I've been on another Greek island, that of Paros and I've been eating to my heart's content. The best thing I've had, you ask? It has to be the appetizer BOUGIOURDY, a wonderful dish of feta, sun-dried tomatoes, and sweet bell peppers, baked into hot gooey goodness and served with a bread roll of seasame and anise seeds. Heaven, absolute heaven. And to top it all off, it was served by a super-charming waiter who the waitress claimed to me, "He's in love with you." Unfortunately, I was too drunk off of Paros-ian wine and had a ferry to catch to following day, that I couldn't have a nice night out with him. Phooey.

In other news, while watching the Hollywood madness, I befriended a movie marketer/producer and I bumped into him on my final day in Santorini. He let me sneak onto the set and I once again had the pleasure of being a spectator of filming (and I had the privilege of being the only "public" person on the set). So I watched the girls film the scene where they watch a "cute" Greek boy (he really wasn't) dive into a cove and they try to jump in after him. The girls, as the producer informed me, were "wusses" and wouldn't actually make the dive. Hehe he he. Actresses.

I'm loving my time here on the islands. If I could do one thing for the rest of my life, traveling around and living out of my backpack would be it! Love it, love it, love it! Yasu!!!

2007-06-06T10:28:00.001-04:00

Where am I again??? I thought I was in Greece. And then I thought I was in Paradise. And then I was in Hollywood. And now I'm back in a tiny Greek-island village. For the past week I've been wandering around the home of Socrates, Homer, and the (supposedly) lost city of Atlantis. I've climbed up the Acropolis to the Parthenon; I've drunk the most disgusting liquid ever created (ouzo) and the most amazing liquid ever created (mezzo wine from Santorini); I've burned myself on black-sand beaches; I've narrowly missed stepping on a mound of poo left behind by poor little donkeys; I've gluttoned myself on gyros, souvlaki, feta, spanokopita; and I've fallen in love with one of the most beautiful towns in the world: little Oia on the island of Santorini. The white-washed and blue-trimmed homes built into the red cliffs of this dormant island-volcano is an absolute dream. No words or pictures can describe how gorgeous this place is...

As I'm relaxing here, meeting and chatting with fellow backpackers and locals, who else should be relaxing here too? Ugly Betty herself!!! I spent today watching a good portion of a movie being shot: The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2. Little America Ferrera and the Gilmore Girl were shooting their film below me as I watched like a star-struck teenager. Seriously. I've now memorized the lines in the movie.

Grandma: "Carolina... How was your trip?"
Gilmore Girl: "It was fine... blah, blah... Where's Effie?"
Grandma: "... she left for Athens..."

Wish you could be here to see all this!!!

2007-05-27T19:05:00.005-04:00

With my passport at my side and that huge red trunk of junk on my back, I find that there is nothing more exhilarating, more terrifying, or more cathartic than travelling solo. There's nothing more thrilling or nerve-racking than finding yourself in a city unlike anything you've ever seen before and without any distraction, letting yourself soak in the sounds, the sights, the aromas, the stenches of a new world. If I weren't going to graduate school and if I didn't have to make a living for myself, traveling is the one and only thing I would do.

Soon and very soon, my solo-travelling status will be re-instated as I'm heading off to my first island-hopping adventure!!! πώς συναρπαστικός That's right, I'm off to Ελλάδα in less than 48 hours! After a few weeks in the Cyclades (donkey riding in Santorini and plates of grilled octopus), I finish my travels in the most wonderful city in the world. Mi segunda casa. Mi Barcelona. Cuando estoy allí, voy a estar la guía de unos amigos que visitan Barcelona por la primera vez. Me muero de ganas de ver el Parc Güell, tomar las horchatas, comer en Gracía, dar un vuelta en Passieg de Gracia, coger el Metro. ¡¡¡Que guay, que guay, que guay!!!

Espero escribir desde Europa! Hasta entonces. Un beso.

2007-05-27T18:54:00.002-04:00

I love my job. Rather, I love the job that I've just lost. Yesterday was my last day as a permanently-employed English Language Instuctor. I think that I've been so blessed to have had a job that made me willing and happy to get up and do every morning. And it was always so wonderful to enter a classroom to greetings such as, "Good Morning, Teacher!" or "Drea, what's your concept today?" or "Drea, I'm sorry, my homework didn't do. So sorry. Tomorrow." Hehehe. I've grown to love and cherish every group of students I've had (with the exception of that terrible batch of students in December who did nothing in class but speak Korean all day long) and it has been so diffcult to let my class go. I'm afraid of passing them on to another teacher... I want to protect them from horrid language teaching and incorrect English usage that permeates the world around them.

I find that the reason I adore that job is that not only am I a teacher in the classroom, I am a student as well. Language teaching is so much more than learning grammar, idioms, vocabulary, syntax, and pronunciation... it's learning about cultures, traditions, paradigms and where all of these overlap among people from all different parts of the world. A college professor once told me, "Learning a new language is like gaining a new soul." Teaching a new language is not much different!

Oh, how I will yearn for the days to hear students say, "My class pinishes at pour fee-emm." I love them, I love them, I love them!!!

2007-05-20T15:53:00.002-04:00

Mi casita es tu casita. I can't believe I've just purchased a house. The whole process was terrifying. While my mother and I were down in Clemson last weekend, we started looking at some condos and townhomes. The majority of them were your standard university apartment... rooms the size of shoeboxes lacking any sort of personality in complexes which live your standard university party-animal. They were completely unappealing to me. After looking at condo after condo, I was beginning to lose hope until we found it. A spacious little townhouse in a quiet little community, surrounded by trees and breeze. It has a wonderful kitchen (so much worktop space!), a cozy living/dining room area, and a sufficiently large walk-in closet for all my fashionista needs! Hooray!

So now I've got a place to call home... and with it I'll need a mortgage. Damn, I've got a freakin' mortgage!!! I thought that only old people had mortgages. It's crazy to think about things like HOA dues, PMIs, deed stamps, closing costs, equity, property taxes--things my cerebrum has never even pondered are things that I must constantly consider now. AHHHH! I really am getting old...

Will you come visit me???

2007-05-06T23:26:00.005-04:00

Aburi-bintoro. Aburi-bintoro. Aburi-bintoro. Say it as fast as you can because it's really fun. It's now my favorite thing to order at sushi restaurants. Yum yum yum. I've been glutton-ing myself for the past few weeks... in celebration of getting into graduate school, in celebration of spring birthdays, and in saying goodbye to the many students that are leaving my school.
It's hard to believe that my time in Seattle is coming to an end. When I arrived here last June, I thought that it would be an eternity until I started graduate school. And now, it's just around the corner. I've got only three more weeks of work, then I'm off to Europe for the month of June, then I'm back in Seattle to pack and study, and in August I'm moving my little bum down to Clemson, South Carolina. "Huh? Where?" Yeah, that's what I thought.

I'm quite shocked by my decision. When I orginally started to receive acceptance letters from graduate schools (yes, you were right, my previous self-doubt was completely unfounded), I thought, "Clemson? Hell no." I was wishing and hoping to be accepted to the schools in New England (which I was) and I had set my heart set in attending school in Boston. I flew out to the East Coast to visit all the graduate schools. New Hampshire was too cold and isolated, Boston was intense and thrilling. But I was pleasantly surprised and charmed by the landscape and the people and the faculty of Clemson University. So charmed, in fact, that I chose to become a hillbilly instead of a New England-er. I'm happy with my decision and very excited to see where this may lead me.

In other news, Greek island-hopping is just 3 weeks away. Woo-friggin-hoo!!! Can't wait to ride those donkeys in Santorini. And then it's off to my precious Barcelona.

And this is my new crush. The Office's J.Krasinski aka Jim Halpert.

2007-01-24T20:43:00.003-05:00

"Oh shiiiit!!! Where did go my dog Pee-Pee?" - My student

Shame on me!!! I should be marking my papers and lesson planning, but I'm slacking off and playing with Rae's lovely iSuper'Puter. It's got that super-chulita camera... SEE??? It's been a lovely three weeks of house-sitting and taking care of the Princess Kitty. I'm going to miss having all this space to myself!

Being here made me realize how much I miss living on my own. Moving back with the parental units after living on campus and living in el piso en Barcelona has been quite difficult for me. I miss that sense of responsibility, independence, living off of macaroni and cheese--I mean, CHEESE and macaroni! It's making me all the more excited for graduate school.

Speaking of the big GS... I'm filled with self-doubt. I don't think that I'll get in! Even though I have the grades, enjoy molecular orbital theory and the Krebs Cycle, have two and a half years of teaching under my belt, have excellent letters of recommendation, etc., I still feel as if I'm not worthy. There's that little voice at the back of my head saying, "You're not getting in, you're not getting in, you're not getting in." Why is that? It's that damned perfectionist side of me. Grrrr!

Pues, tengo que cocinar ahora. Para cena esta noche: Salmon with Sour Cream and Dill!

2007-01-19T01:33:00.000-05:00

I don't write! I never write! Because I feel like I have absolutely nothing to say. Melancholia. It is that from which I am suffering. I miss Barcelona dreadfully. I want to be in my flat, my tiny little 5th floor room, overlooking the tipity tops of the city. I want my tuna and tomato baguette bocadillos. I want to be walking on the beach, sitting on my concrete bench. Te echo de menos!

I'm applying to graduate schools right now and I'm awfully scared of not being accepted. I don't want to be stuck teaching phrasal verbs and the 3rd conditional for the rest of my life... It's that terrible pressure I put on myself, always thinking that I could do more. I'll never be perfect.

Joder! Tengo que ir a la cama... manana tenemos un Spelling Bee al trabajo y debo buscar los origenes de las palabras. La Vida Secreta de Las Palabras. Que pelicula tan hermosa.

2006-10-01T04:29:00.000-04:00

Psssttt!!! I have a secret. I have a confession to make. I am currently infatuated with both Clark Kent and Lex Luthor. Que paradox! This is the most exciting, most heart-pounding, most cheesy, most ridiculous show I've seen in years (probably because I haven't seen any show in years). Though it totally rips off The X-Files and has it's bad moments... I heart Smallville.

2006-08-28T21:49:00.001-04:00

That was a damn good cheeseburger. The one I had last week at McCormick's and Schmick's. And it was only one-fuckin'-ninety five. ¡Joder tío! How can something that makes my tummy so happy be so damned cheap? One of humanity's many unsolved mysteries, I guess. I often associate the McCormick's Happy Hour with this lot. Rae and Andrew. Estes chavales son la bomba. Or as I like to think of them, my second mom and dad because they always feed me (it's all their fault that I've been growing obese since I got back to Seattle), pick me up from work and drive me places. How did I end up with such cursed mateys? I can't wait for our next McCormick's fix. Mmmmm...

2006-08-28T21:00:00.001-04:00

Perdóname. I've been absent for awhile. Somebody told me that I should get off my lazy ass and start blogging. What the hell am I supposed to say? I'm fuckin' knackered now. After the long weekend in Vancouver, British Columbia, Cananda, North America, Planet Earth, The Universe (where great food was savored, a Vanity Fair spread was shot, "baked goods" were smuggled across the border), I am now back. Safe and sound...

I'm going to go crazy in the next few weeks. I'll be attending my mates' wedding down in San Francisco next weekend and upon my return to Seattle I will be playing hostess to Los Osos Malos de Los Sombreros Rojos (there they are in the photo)! These are my bad bears from Barcelona. The ones with whom I built up my tolerance for el vino tinto, the ones who truly appreciate monkeys named Josep, the ones who have no shame in playing musical charades on Montjüic. Damn, I miss those red-hatted bad bears!

So... I should really start studying for that GRE, shouldn't I?

2006-07-19T17:16:00.002-04:00

I've always made a correlation between blogging and being emo. Do I blog because I am emo? Or am I emo because I blog? It really doesn't matter. And who's going to read about my silly little life anyway? Isn't everyone on that OfficeSpace or whatever it is nowadays?

Let me introduce myself. I'm Drea, El Oso Cariñoso. I like hobbits and spanish. And cheese. I wonder if there are any Spanish hobbits. I wonder if there are any Spanish hobbits who enjoy nibbling away on cheese. If so, I would like to meet this hobbit. I also like gelato, see? This is me. I don't look like a bear. But it would be cool to be a bear, wouldn't it? Then I could eat as much cheese as I want: queso manchego, white Irish cheddar, goats cheese.

That's all I have to say for now. ¡Bienvenido al Rollo Repollo! Dime algo...

2006-07-19T17:11:00.000-04:00

Esto es sólo el principio...