Someday I'm finally gonna let go. 'Cause I know there's a better way. And I wanna know what's over that rainbow. I'm gonna get out of here someday...

Yes, I want to get out of here. I'm want to get out of this current mental/emotional/life funk in which I've recently found myself. My mind is constantly racing. Perhaps Cymbalta can help? I've just finished my 3rd year of graduate school. Have I really been here for that long? It was exactly 3 years ago to the day that I visited Lemon, touring the campus and setting foot in the building in which I'm now always working/teaching/eating/napping. I have finished all my written exams, published two papers, won back-to-back departmental awards, la-di-da-di-da-di-da, and I'm currently preparing for my nerve-racking qualifying exams at the beginning of the next school year. WTF!?!?! I'm incredibly nervous about the year to come. My research advisor and I had one of those shocking/exciting/scary conversations a few weeks ago:

Dr. B.: "Drea, I think that we need to sit down and map out your plans. It's a good idea for you to do your pre-oral in the early fall and once you do that... I don't think it would be difficult for you to be done at the end of next summer."

Me: "Wha-a-a-a-t?"

Dr. B.: "Yeah, let's start thinking about your application packet. Perhaps you should start thinking about where you'd like your career to go, what you'd be like to be doing once you are done here..."

Me: "Wha-a-a-a-t?"

I am shocked to think that I can be out of here so quickly. I mean really, just a little over a year from now?!?! I am excited because I can be out of here so quickly!!! Yes, I can finally leave this god-forsaken part of the country!!! And I am scared to think I can be out of here so quickly. Does that mean I can't be a student anymore? No more homework and free food? I'm going to have to start my career? Start thinking about my life? Start thinking about mortgages and life insurance and 401(k)s? Start thinking about (zomigod) family and kids? And gadgets and gizmos a-plenty and whozits and whatzits galore? Ahhhh!!!!!


Hold up. I've already been thinking about all of this for the past ten years! It's just extremely challenging and incredibly scary. Growing up, growing old, growing sideways, (perhaps) growing wiser. But such is life. And I'm ready for it!!! I think. Maybe. Yeah. Umm, no. Well, just ask me later. Where's that Cymbalta?